Oops!

About Trauma and Depression

More than 170 people gathered on Wednesday evening in the Buddha Hall of Pagoda Phat Hue to listen the public talk by Zen Master Thich Thien Son. Topic: depression and trauma. “Emotions are an indicator that we are alive. They come and go. If this flow is stagnant because of painful experiences, our life energy stagnates also. We lose contact with ourselves and with our fellow human beings.”

Depression - gray clouds on the horizon of our mind

Every 6th Patient in a German doctors ambulance is complaining about feeling depressed. This affects not only adults, but increasingly children and young people. While children rather complain about non-specific symptoms such as repeated abdominal pain and less wanting to play, most adults show clearer symptoms.

From chronic depression, dissatisfaction, irritability and aggressive eruptions to ongoing internal paralysis and in severe cases suicidal tendencies. If these symptoms take more and more space in us, these gray clouds can block the access to feelings of joy and confidence. Later, the whole daily activities become more depressed, discolored, the world seems gray.

Body and mind form a unit …

If we are chronically unhappy and depressed on the mental level, this reflects in our body. Therefore in most cases of depression, we can observe side effects on the physical level, including weight loss or gain, sleep disturbances, loss of sexual desire and severe exhaustion.

Also amongst people over 60years old cases of depression dramatically increased in the last years. “People in these days and in our age, especially in large cities, define themselves through their activities and jobs. With age, they note that physical abilities are getting weaker. I’m not as powerful anymore. It creates a sense of worthlessness, and often the fear to be a burden for others. “In other cultures, especially if the contact with nature and religion is still strong, this situation is different: The family elders often, because of their experience in life, make the decisions for the other family members. The old aged are respected and honored people from whom we can learn. We should learn again to appreciate the wisdom, the experience and the present of our older fellow human beings. We can give each other a lot.

Depressed men - depressed women …

Concerning sexual activities while talking about depression we have to differentiate between men and woman. While men still often struggle to connect with their own feelings, women often define themselves through their feelings.

During a depression, men are more prone to chronic dissatisfaction and defensive aggression and irritability. Acting out those feelings is a way for men to maintain their last contact with their friends and to not look at their true feelings of inner pain: It is “the others” fault (partner, the boss, the dog), they are to blame for ones suffering.

Women, however, frequently come to a feeling of powerlessness and helplessness. By doing this, they state clearly: “I cannot do it anymore, I need your help.” In those situations, many women hold on strongly on their partner or their child to compensate their loss of security.

What causes depression?

There are numerous causes for the development of depression: Phases of hormonal changes in women, lack of light - especially in winter – physical illnesses such as cancer, or drugs such as beta-blockers or the contraceptive pill. The Inheritance also plays an important role: twin studies show that certain forms of depression are genetic or at least its occurrence is favored by certain gene combinations.

It is often the case that we already teach our children in the direction of depression: For example by trying to train them to excessive cleanliness. Doing so, we educate them to take distance from life. In Asia are mainly rich kids affected of depression, while children in slums are more focused on securing their survival.

Also life situations that have big impacts onto people can subsequently lead to depressive reaction: For example when caregivers are suddenly not there anymore and security breaks away.

What to do if the partner / mother / son are depressed?

For the relatives: You need a lot of patience to extricate their family members from a depressive crisis. The inner world of a depressed person is often not easy to understand for outsiders. The first step is to practice deep listening. Because often “it is exactly a sympathetic ear what is missing and is urgently needed to give the signal ‘I’m here for you.’” This can move a lot. But being there for the depressed person should not lead to the feeling of helplessness. At some point comes the time at which “gentle but certain pressure” is needed. This can be done in a little walk together, because also movement is an essential way of curing depression. You do not need big things to start the healing process: A walk in the forest or flowing exercises from Qi Gong are a good start to bring stagnant life energy back into the flow.

The Traditional Chinese Medicine can help.

From the perspective of Traditional Chinese Medicine depressions often include a weak kidney energy and are often also associated with hyperactivity in the liver circulation function. Changes in appetite and sleep disorders can be attributed to. The thyroid is also often affected - whether in the form of being underactive or hyper secretive. Acupuncture as well as treatment with Chinese herbs can help the healing process. Also a dietary change according to the guidelines of the Five Elements brings positive effects. Vitamin-rich diet helps harmonize the liver energy, and warm meals support the renal function.

Sometimes unavoidable: Antidepressants

In particularly cases, hospitalization and treatment with medication, usually antidepressants, is temporarily necessary. Nevertheless, it should be no longer used than absolutely necessary. Antidepressants have a broad spectrum of side effects. In addition, they are indeed able to compensate for an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain (particularly serotonin and norepinephrine) for a certain period, but cannot overcome the strong underlying conflicts and traumas which may be the real root for the depression.

Human support - to heal the soul …

A psychotherapeutic support is sometimes necessary. The decisive factor is that the therapist has the ability of „compassion” and can listen - qualities that are unfortunately not always available in all therapeutic practices.

“In Vietnam there was war, when I was growing up there in the monastery. Many people suddenly lost family members or their entire belongings. You never knew whether your family would live the next day or not. Not to mention escape traumas. It was natural that the monks and nuns attended all the painful processes of those people. Because of the constant need for help and our growing experience, we naturally learned to assist as therapists. We have learned to help people in difficult times.”

Find Liveliness thanks to light and colors …

Light and color therapies are also helpful in the treatment of depression. A morning “Light shower” with 10,000 Lux helps many sufferers over the well known winter depression. Also changing lamps with varying colors of light (5 minutes per color), like a colorful rainbow, can encourage liveliness.

Studies have shown that brownish red colors and delicate apple green soothe sadness. A deep brownish red, gives the security of the womb, this color is familiar to us from our pre-natal period. After feeling secure again, a soft green ensures fresh energy and new feelings of courage.

What happens after a trauma?

After experiencing a traumatic event, such as a rape or a plane crash, there is at first a short-term black out of the mind. The intensity of the pain is not sustainable for our psyche - a stunning system comes into force, to conceal the trauma associated with the contents of consciousness.

The trauma is encapsulated and no more easily available for our conscious memory. For some individuals, the trauma comes back after some time in the form of so-called flash-back of the traumatic event. As long as we are not consciously aware of our trauma the risk of a re-traumatizing happening is present. We instinctively look again and again for situations, that are comparable to our past traumatic situations. We connect the pain feelings with our sense of self and define ourselves with that pain and think to maintain our vitality in that way.

How to overcome trauma?

Only with the awareness of the traumatic experiences itself we can work constructively with our trauma. Of course we cannot resolved or delete it completely, because it is stored as an imprint in our memories. But we can change the inner attitude to the traumatic event and integrate what happened into our present situation. One can do so in our ZEN seminars that give a protected and secure space for working on these processes.

In Buddhism we say that the past is past, we can change it any more. But we can redefine redesign every moment for ourselves. We can deal with the here and now with openness.
The trauma is increasingly losing its explosive nature, takes up less space in us.

Depression as anesthetics …

Depression in traumatic basis serves as a self-protection, to prevent re-traumatizing events. How can it reduce our pain? Depressions decrease our liveliness and by that our perception of pain. In this way we can see depression working as a narcotic. If the depressive symptoms decrease, the underlying trauma will be more available to us. This means of course, that the pain may be activated and available to our mind to. It is therefore essential in this process, to have a competent, therapeutic monitoring.

In depression and other consequences of traumatic experiences, it is always useful to say to oneself again and again:

“You’re not the Depression - you are not the trauma. You are much more than that”

And, as already stated above, “what is past is past. What is now is the present. And in every moment of your life, you have the chance for a fresh start. Now Live!”

Greetings from Taiwan

Dear Dharma friends, I am writing from Taichung, a town in western Taiwan. I am very grateful that my master and Sangha gave me the opportunity to spend the next year in Taiwan. I will use this to learn the Chinese language and to deepen my Buddhist practice.

I hereby want to express my thankfulness towards the community of the pagoda, without which the pagoda and my Buddhist path would not exist. I also hope to be able to share all my new experiences with the Sangha and the community as soon as I return from Taiwan.

In respect to the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha. Thich Hue Nghi

Buddha’s Way: The renovation continues

BY Sister Hue Nghiem
Here you can see our new classroom, in development. A wall had to be taken down to make room for tables and chairs. Our friendly caretaker, Mr. Mitschke, always participates energetically. The first class in the new area will be our 2009-2010 Winter Retreat, which begins on Dec. 26. Until then, there will still be some dust clouds.

So, we are putting in modern communication to allow accessibility in all rooms in our new center. But, at the moment, only the initial verse from the Buddhagosa text, “Path of Purification,” comes to mind, “de-tangling the entanglement - untangling the confusion”.

After we painted our entrance hall with a new color, we suffered dampness from above… the pipes are now acting up after 30 years of activity. The preliminary repair work is being done by our industrious aides, so that expert hands can then complete the task - a very smelly task!

And here, with members of the Sangha fully in their element, the library develops. After Sister Hue Tho and Aspirant Hue Pho brought all the books from the Pagoda to Odenwald, they finally got an appropriate “home”.

Our monks and nuns developed their laminate-moving arts with eagerness. The laminate floor in the library is a product of Brothers Hue Chuyen and Hue Ngo, and Sister Hue Tho. A very beautiful area, and I doubt people will come here simply to browse the books.

Enlightenment

Where is enlightenment?
Relief come from the very spot in which there was the pain? It’s already here.

Then, what is enlightenment?
Seeing with wisdom.

Then how does I arise wisdom?
The Arising of Wisdom=seeing the same thing you have seen everyday, with right view.

What is right view?
Right View= An insight into the true working of phenomena that leads to disassociation and final rest.

And how do I get this insight?
Mindfulness

Mindfulness of what?
Body, feeling, mental formation, and phenomena

How do I start?
Body: Know the body position all day long, reflect on food coming in and out, see the impermanence of the body, meditate on corpses, bring awareness to the body
Feeling: Pleasant, Unpleasant, Neutral, See them arising and passing, see how  external conditions mixed with internal perceptions create feelings, don’t chase pleasure and don’t evade pain
Concept: Calm the mind, know what mental qualities have arisen in the present moment, know what perceptions you hold, know your habit structures
Phenomena: See the world as changing, composed, and un-keepable.

And when do I start?
Now.

Everything’s impermanent - A Buddhist rap by Brother Hue Loc

Everything’s impermanent
(Meaning anything can’t stay the same)
Nothing’s really permanent
(Changing needs to be okay)
Something you can learn, my friend
(We like ‘spread this)
All the way from Germany to the USA
-
Now what I want to say
Is addressed to you
No matter who you are,
Where you go, what you do
In this moment you might be trying to get things you have enjoyed
Running here and there being pleased or annoyed
-
Why you cannot always have
What you believe is desirable?
You wish to have a thing
Which is not always acquirable
You cling to an issue
Don’t want to change your mind
And the consequence hurts
‘Cause your eyes are blind.
-
If you wanna do a thing about
the pain in your heart
Where you are right now is always
the point to start
Give the truth a chance
To be different from what you guess
And accept the action
that honestly leads to happiness
-
What’s going on? It’s hard to tell
When you’re all in your thoughts
What seems important depends on in
Whichever view you’re caught
For example you’re stuck in emotion
Which is a pain
You don’t have to suffer
You don’t have to play a game
-
Since it results out of
What you believe you’re feeling
How nice would it be if you
Let go of your believing
Believe it or not
Truth keeps changing with condition
If you could deny
Keeping your truth in definition
-
All things are changing
That’s the way it is
What happened in the past is now
None of your biz
Trying to hold on to something
Which is passing on
Awaking from this you might notice
There’s something wrong
-
Everything’s impermanent
(Meaning anything can’t stay the same)
Nothing’s really permanent
(Changing needs to be okay)
Something you can learn, my friend
(We like ‘spread this)
All the way from Germany to the USA

(Brother Hue Loc – all rights reserved :) )

A Day in the Life of Brother Hue Chuyen (at Buddha’s Way)

In response to Brother Hue Loc’s series of posts about his daily activities at Pagoda Phat Hue City Center, I would like to post a blog about my day at our Forest Center, Buddha’s Way.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

(Each day begins with a scheduled Sangha meditation at 5:15 a.m.)
I began the day’s activities by putting away my clothes that had been drying overnight on my heater.
After a bit of exercise in my bedroom, I headed down to a breakfast of bread and rice soup.
We spoke a bit about the day’s activities and watched a rainbow out the window. It sat on the horizon for over 10 minutes before it moved towards us and then disappeared.
After breakfast, I headed towards the Media Room (also called the “Eagles’ Perch” due to its location, high up on the 4th floor).
On the way Sister Hue Trieu handed me the telephone and I was able to talk to Sister Hue Tho (who is at the Pagoda in Frankfurt) and wish her a good day.
I edited Thay’s German Dharma talk “The Turning Point of Your Life” and burned it to DVD for distribution at his Dharma talk tomorrow evening, in Frankfurt. I then made some smaller videos with our new FLIP camera and began the process of uploading them onto our website.
While the videos were processing, I listened to a portion of a Dharma talk by Jack Kornfield on my computer and then went to my bedroom.
In my room, I tidied up a bit and read an e-mail on my mobile phone from Brother Hue Truc, concerning his plans for the Winter Retreat, and another from Brother Hue Ngo, asking me to bring his running shoes back to the Pagoda.
I then read a chapter in Thich Nhat Hanh’s semi-fictional book on the Buddha’s life story, “Old Path White Clouds“. The chapter dealt with Siddhartha’s view that the problems in society stemmed from the greed, hatred, and delusion rooted in the hearts of its people. He reasoned that only through the realization of liberation in himself could he then teach the way to cure the ills of society.
At the conclusion I sat on my bed and stared at the large, hand-drawn, sign hanging on my ceiling that reads, “Buddha”.
A short while later, Brother Hue Nghi came into the room (after his personal meditation time in the Buddha Hall) and invited me to come down with him to lunch.
We had a delicious lunch of noodle soup, rice and vegetables. Sister Hue Trieu then treated us to a lemon cake, which she had just finished making.
When lunch was finished Sister Hue Nghiem asked us if we would be able to assist her with cleaning work later in the day. We agreed.
After washing the dishes, myself and Sister Hue Trieu took a long walk into the forest where we made some close-up videos of old trees.
I had also wanted to show her a certain spot that myself and Brother Hue Gioi had meditated in a few months before, but the landscape had drastically changed due to the cutting of trees in the area, and it was impossible to find.
We headed back to the center and along the way discovered a beautiful tree stump that had been freshly cut. We decided to carry it back to Buddha’s Way to make it into a tea-table. It was quite heavy.
I returned to the computer and finished uploading the new videos to our website.
Myself and Sister Hue Trieu then decided to wash our jackets, which were now fairly dirty and still smelled of smoke from last night’s fire.
Then, Brother Hue Nghi, Sister Hue Trieu, and I helped Sister Hue Nghiem mop the stairs/lobby/hallway of the “old building” (Buddha’s Way was originally an old hotel. Later it became a rehabilitation center and a second building was added on. This is why we say “old” and “new” building.)
Afterwards, I returned to the computer to answer some e-mails concerning an upcoming “Wake-Up” youth retreat with the Brothers and Sisters at the EIAB.
Over the computer, I was then able to speak with Brother Hue Ngo (also in Frankfurt) about his thoughts on some retreat issues.
Next, I headed outside and chopped firewood by candle light in the woodshed. (It gets dark very early here).
When I came back inside I spoke with Brother Hue Nghi and he told me about how many practitioners make the mistake of looking externally to others and situations instead of watching their own minds and how it functions.
I then wrote this blog….

(It’s now time for dinner. In an hour, I plan to return to the Pagoda in Frankfurt, by car, with Brother Hue Nghi and Sister Hue Trieu)

The World According to Zen

There is a school of thought in Mahayana Buddhism called Yogacara. This school’s great contribution to Buddhism was the Yogacara Abhidhamma, meaning “the higher dhamma” or “special dhamma.” And dhamma is another word for phenomena.

Yogacara is often referred to as the “mind only” school due to its theory that all experience and reality occurs in the mind only. The school’s method is about seeing Absolute reality while within the dualistic, mundane realm.

In seeing, the essence of mind is recognized as calm and quiet, the only disturbance coming from mental phenomena arising and decaying. It might be said that, in the end, Buddhism is about seeing the world clearly, about seeing phenomena clearly, and more precisely about seeing mental phenomena clearly.

According to Yogacara, then, when we come in contact with the external reality, what really happens is: an impulse interacts with a sense organ, from the sense organ a signal travels to the mind, and a mind object arises. Then, depending on how we relate to the object, mental phenomena (states) arise. If we react to these phenomena, we give that phenomena a definition or function. Eventually, the mental phenomena decay. It should be noted that the mind objects only represent the external stimulus. Or, as the scientist Alfred Korzybski once pointedly said, “The map is not the territory.”

An example. I see a man (external stimulus) with my eyes (sense organ) and I think of him (mind object). Depending on how I relate to the man, an emotional state (phenomena) arises. Let’s say, in this case, I relate with anger. I react out of this anger, yelling at the man (function). So, the function of the anger becomes yelling angrily. Eventually, the anger (phenomena) fades.

The formal logic: If my relationship to the man is my relationship to my mind object, then, if we generalize, my relationship to the man is my relationship to my mind. In the example above, I relate to the man with anger, therefore I relate to my mind with anger.

Thus, whatever I think about, and do to, another human being, I am thinking about and doing to my mind and, by extension, my self.

Tags: Abhidhamma, Absolute reality, Korzybski, phenomena, Yogacara

Personality

As babies, we are able to express ourselves rather well. When we want something, we cry, scream, and let all our emotions out nearly unchecked. Then, as we grow, depending on how our parents react to us, we see thatsome actions are acceptable. Others are not. We see this through the eyes of our mother, father or caretaker. We determine whether what we feel is right, wrong or worthy depending on how mother responds when we cry out for her to come.

This continues into childhood, when we venture into the outer world more often. We determine our self worth by the judgments and reactions from a broader range of people. These reactions are often based in greed, aversion or delusion. Also, children and adults have differing views of right and wrong, how one should act, and what one should say. So, we restrict our feelings and believe that some things we are saying and doing are unacceptable, or that we are unacceptable. This is the birth of holding our feelings and thoughts in. We suppress out of fear of worthlessness, rejection or abandonment (mostly from our mother or father).

probably a very nice lady

As we grow older, we develop different patterns to express the suppressed feelings and thoughts. Some people get tattoos all over their bodies. Some start to be controlling out of fear that others will make them feel guilty or worthless. Some try to express the suppressed feelings in an extraordinarily loud tone, believing that volume will get their feelings across, when only expressing the feelings really can. Some seek love by mastering crafts and professions, because at some point openly showing love or pride was not acceptable. Maybe never acceptable but praise for a job well done was. These people do grand things to feel admired in place of love.

In all these cases, our view of reality and what we really want becomes perverted. And what we really want is love, acceptance and comfort, which give us a peaceful mind.

Eventually, we grow up and develop a personality. Often, this developed mind suppresses so much that over time it affects the body – cancer and neurological disorders are some of the symptoms. Sometimes the problem is genetic, but this also requires certain actions or environmental conditions to switch the genes “on”.

The perverted wanting, the looking for the wrong thing, the desire to be fulfilled, and the wrong way of going about it, the Buddha calls samsara (cyclical existence). According to the Buddha, the cause of samsara is ignorance and craving.

What we do here is figure out what we really want and how we search for it in the wrong way. Most of the time, we are. Actually, from the Buddhist perspective, most of us are crazy and everyone is suppressing something.

That doesn’t mean that our lives are not interspersed with joy, love, wisdom, kindness and inspiration, but that there is a lot right in front of our nose that we can work on.

Sunshine

What does it mean to stand for what you believe in? How do you know whether you are just being stubborn, ignorant or crazy? I guess that is always the question; along with the accompanying risk of putting your foot down for something. Lately, I have been trying to stand up for what I believe in, bit by bit. Simple things.

In our Pagoda there is much to do and not many people to do it. And everyone needs help!

It is a common occurrence that I blindly think, “What I am doing is not so important. What they are are doing is more important.”

So, often, I say, “Yes, I can help” and forget about my practice or work. Or, I hide so I don’t have to confront the plea.

But, it seems, both of these avoid dealing with the reality. If I think that my work, meditation or rest is of use to my mental and physical well being, then it is of worth!

Of course there is always the voice in my head that says, “You are so selfish! How dare you dismiss their needs! You should be ashamed!”

But happily this guilt-endowing voice is getting more and more quite.

Really, if we work ourselves to the bone, to sicknesshuegioi31, to anger, to frustration or to depression on a regular basis, what good can we be to the rest of the world?

There is one meditation master who says, “The pen is mightier than the sword, but the smile is mightier than the pen.”

Only if we can be sunshine in this world is our time worth while.

So, please arrange your time and your day.

Stand for what you believe in, take care of your mind today and be sunshine!

Want

When we want, its not that we want but its that the Want wants

That wanting is only the Want wanting

And the Want wants and wants and wants

And what the Want wants is whatever the want wants

But its not what we want

Or should I say, what the Want wants is not what we want or want to want

What we want is actually to be free of the Want

We try to get what the Want wants to stop the wanting of the Want

But this Want doesn’t stop wanting, it just goes on to want another want

So if we really want to stop the Want, we must not give the Want what it wants

Only see clearly the Want

There is the Want, and we don’t want the Want

And actually thats all we want

Because when there is no Want

There is peace